


Barely Holding On

by Egobang_for_dayz, NoMansWindow2846



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Accident, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demon!Brian, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform, Vampire!Barry, Vampire!Dan, Werewolf!Arin, fairy!ross, witch!holly - Freeform, witch!suzy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 19:34:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egobang_for_dayz/pseuds/Egobang_for_dayz, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMansWindow2846/pseuds/NoMansWindow2846
Summary: "Suzy? It's Dan. We're at the hospital. It's Arin. He was hit by a car."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Taking place in a new Supernatural AU where everyone is supernatural and super gay

The world was still. It was like time had stopped. Cold rain splashed against Dan's face. When did it start raining? Dan found his mind racing, going over the day they had had, trying to put together the moments that lead to this one. 

The morning had started out normal. Arin was making breakfast when Dan came down. Mason and Devon were sitting at the kitchen table, and Dan greeted both boys with a kiss on the forehead. Dan snuck up behind Arin and kissed him good morning. Arin leaned into him. "So I was thinking we go take a walk later, when the sun goes down." Arin had suggested, voice full of happiness. 

Would dan ever hear that voice again?

Dan had agreed excitedly. The day had passed quickly, Dan spending the day chasing his two kids, while Arin worked on work emails and some animations. Days like this were Dan's favorite days, at least they had been until this moment. 

When the night came, dan had bundled mason up into a fluffy down jacket, and a warm hat. He dressed himself similarly. The night itself wasn't that cold, but the two vampires lacked the ability to make their own body heat, so winter coats it was. Dan smiled at Mason and straightened up, turning towards the 8 foot timber wolf sitting in his living room where Arin had once been. Devon sat next to him, his slender frame and blonde fur a striking contrast to his fathers size and dark coloring. Arin looked fondly at the pup sitting beside him. He loved these moments when he and his son were in their wolf forms together. The family set out down the street, dan holding onto Mason's much smaller hand. They walked together through the dark night, lit only by street lights. Dan smiled as he watched Arin and Devon chasing each other in circles. The two werewolves were play fighting, fake snapping at each other. Occasionally Arin would let the smaller wolf jump on him and he would play dead, making a show of falling to the ground in his demise. Mason giggled at his dad. 

Dan struggled to remember what happened next. What had lead up to this? Devon... Devon hadn't been paying attention to where he was running. He was in the street, his pale fur glowing with the light of... of something. Headlights. Dan yelled out for him but his voice was caught in his throat. Arin leapt foreword and grabbed at devon's scruff. Heaving with all his might, Arin tossed Devon onto the other side of the street. That's right. A crunch filled the air, a yelp, followed by a thud and the screeching of tires. 

Dan snapped back to reality. Someone had hit play on the world again. Dan looked to the middle of the street. Arin was laying on his side, back illuminated by the headlights of the car that had hit him. Dan moved without thinking, kneeling down on the quickly dampening pavement next to Arin. He placed one hand on the either side of Arin's head, turning the wolf's muzzle towards him. Arin blinked at Dan, his sides heaving with his labored breathing. Blood was pooling under him on the street. Someone was yelling. Who was yelling? Dan looked up to see the driver of the car, one fist in the air. Oh. He was yelling. Dan focused on what he was saying. 

"What is the matter with you? You need to keep better control of your animals! I almost hit the smaller one!" The man yelled, spit flying from his lips with every word. Dan looked at him for a long moment, anger crawling under his skin. Animals. They weren't animals. 

"They're not animals you asshole. You hit my boyfriend, the smaller one is our son! Get out of here!" Dan yelled, his voice finally working itself loose from where it had buried itself in his throat. The man stormed off in a huff. Dan focused back on his boyfriend. Mason was sitting at Dan's side; fear written all over his face. Devon had come back from where he had been thrown. Devon was whimpering, his ears and his tail hanging low. He burrowed his head onto Dan's lap, under one of his arms. Dan pulled his phone out and handed it to Mason. "Mason, I need you to call the number for the hospital that's listed in there. Tell them we need an ambulance. I know this is scary but I need your help ok?" Mason nodded, eyes wide and opened up Dan's phone. Dan turned his attention back to Arin. "Hey big cat, focus on me ok? I'm right here baby. You're gonna be ok." Arin shifted a bit and let out a whimper. Dan shushed him. "Hey, hey don't try to move baby. Just focus on me. Everything is going to be ok." Dan ran his hand through Arin's fur, pausing to scratch behind one if his pointed ears. Arin lifted his head and weakly licked at Dan's cheek. Dan shook his head. "Don't; Arin. That's for when you're dying. You're not going to die. I'm here. I'm right here. We've got forever, Arin. An eternity to spend together. You are not about to leave me to spend eternity alone. You're going to be just fine. I promise baby." Dan felt tears fall from his eyes and mix with the rain falling from the sky. The smell of blood was heavy in the air, and Dan could hear Arin's heart beating, and it was slowing down just slightly. He continued to whisper comforts to Arin as he heard the ambulance sirens from far off. Devon whimpered as the sirens got louder, the sharp whines piercing his sensitive ears.

Finally the ambulance was in front of them and the doors burst open. The paramedics carefully loaded Arin onto a stretcher and slid him into the back. Dan buckled the boys into the front next to the driver so they wouldn't be in the way and climbed into the back with Arin. The paramedic in the back already had an oxygen mask over Arin's snout. They started asking dan questions about what had happened, while checking Arin's vitals. His heartbeat was in Dan's ears, still slow, slower than it should be. Dan answered the paramedics questions without being able to process what he was even saying. 

Everything passed in a blur. Distantly, he recognized Arin being rushed deeper into the hospital, leaving Dan in the waiting room with their kids. Mason was sitting in a chair next to Dan. Devon was curled up on Dan's lap while Dan filled out the paperwork for Arin. When the nurse collected the papers, Dan pulled out his phone. Numbly he scrolled through his contacts until he got to Suzy's name. 

"Suzy? It's Dan. We're at the hospital. It's Arin. He was hit by a car." 

\---

15 minutes after they had gotten off the phone, Suzy and Barry came into the waiting room, holly trailing behind them. Barry took mason by the hand and took him to a different set of seats across the waiting room. Suzy scooped Devon up into her arms. Dan flashed her a grateful smile. Suzy leaned in and kissed Dan's forehead. He could see how scared she was for her childhood friend, but her attention was on the child she was holding, Devon having shifted back before Suzy had arrived. 

Holly sat next to Dan and took one of his hands into her smaller ones. "Hey Danny." She whispered, smiling gently at him. Dan didn't respond, he just laid his head against her small shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. 

The ticking of the clock echoed in the empty waiting room. Suzy was off somewhere walking to keep Devon asleep. Mason had crawled into Barry's lap and fallen asleep as well. Dan was acutely aware of the thin uncomfortable chair underneath him. The pattern hurt his eyes, much like the harsh fluorescent lights flickering overhead. A nurse handed him a warm mug of blood to keep him going. He drank from the cup, the crimson liquid coating his mouth with that sharp metallic taste he had come to know. Holly was telling him a story about one of her many pigeons. Dan was grateful for her attempt at distraction, but the ticking of the clock was worming it's way into his chest. Dan told holly all the things he wanted to do with Arin, all the things they were supposed to have forever to do. They had agreed to spend eternity together, and dan was determined to make that happen. Arin had to pull through. Time passed at a staggered rate for Dan. Fear had wrapped Dan in thorns, the sound of the car hitting Arin forcing the thorns tighter every time it replayed. 

 

6 hours. Dan sat staring at the linoleum floor, sitting in an ugly chair for 6 hours before he heard footsteps come from the hall Arin had disappeared down. The doctor pushed the doors open and stopped inside the waiting room. He looked down at the clipboard before making eye contact with dan. "Are you here for Arin Hanson?" He asked. Dan shot to his feet and nodded, words lost to the nerves constricting his body. "He's just been moved out of surgery and into the ICU. He has several broken ribs, one rib punctured a lung, his right front leg is broken and his left shoulder and hip have road rash on them from the fall. He should recover just fine, he'll need lots of bed rest and someone will need to make sure he doesn't scratch or bite at his stitches." Dan nodded again. He felt sick at hearing all the damage Arin had taken, but he was so grateful that Arin would be ok. He turned to look at Holly who simply nodded, hearing his unspoken request for her to tell the others. 

"Can I see him?" Dan asked, his voice hoarse from the lack of use. The doctor smiled and nodded and after explaining that Arin wouldn't be awake right away, he led Dan down the hallway. Their foot steps echoed in the empty hallway. Dan looked at each room they passed and wondered what tragedies they held. He forced himself to stop thinking about things like that and focus on Arin. The doctor stopped in front of room 524. He looked to Dan, and with a nod they pushed their way inside. 

Dan felt his stomach drop at the site of Arin. He was still in his wolf form, not having the strength to shift back. There was an oxygen mask fixed over his snout. A patch of fur on his left forearm was shaved and an IV was sticking out of the skin. Heart monitors were attached to his chest, the wires disappearing under the swathes of bandages covering his entire chest. His left shoulder and hip were bandaged, and his right arm was in a cast. Dan made his way towards his boyfriend on shaky legs. If not for the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the hissing of the ventilator, dan would have been sure he was looking at a corpse. Somehow Arin managed to look small, dwarfed by the machines standing guard around him. Dan glanced at the heart monitor, briefly musing at the fact that his grandad had helped invent something that was now reminding Dan his boyfriend was still alive. Dan pulled up the chair that was next to the bed and sat in it, leaning on his elbows on the bed. He reached one hand out and scratched Arin between the ears, the way he knew he loved. Dan found comfort in the warmth Arin gave off, and in feeling the blood coursing through Arin. Dan leaned forward and buried his face in the fur on the top of Arin's head. For the first time since Arin had been hit, Dan let himself cry. He cried, for his terrified children in the waiting room, for the love of his life laying in this bed with the uncomfortable blue blankets, hanging on to life by a thread. He suddenly remembered the doctor still standing in the room, so Dan composed himself once more and wiped the tears from his face. 

After what felt like an eternity but was probably only 15 minutes, Arin stirred slightly. Dan sat up straighter, and waited with baited breath. Arin opened one eye, and then the other. His tail thumped weakly against the bed when he locked eyes with Dan. Dan smiled at him, fresh tears welling up and breaking free, leaving streaks down his face. Arin shook the oxygen mask off and lifted his head to lick Dan's cheek. Dan laughed and leaned away from Arin. "Hey, no licking. Remember that's for when you're dying and that's not happening any time soon." Dan pushed the oxygen mask back onto Arin's face. Dan turned toward the doctor who was going over Arin's chart. "When will he be able to shift back? So we can actually talk." Dan asked, still petting Arin's head. The doctor glanced down at the chart for a moment before meeting Dan's gaze. 

"I'd like him to stay like this for another day. Let things settle and let him get some strength back. He'll want to spend as much time as a wolf as possible, as I'm sure you know Werewolves heal faster in their wolf form." The doctor explained. Dan cursed himself a little, he did know that. He shouldn't have even asked. Next to him Arin whined a little, and dan looked back at him. Dan knew Arin could tell He was getting lost in his thoughts again. Dan leaned forward to kiss the top of Arin's head, relishing briefly in the smell of his boyfriends blood, something that smelled like warm apple pie and like the fall and cold rainy mornings. Something that smelled like home. 

The door swung open again, and Suzy Holly and Barry entered, Barry leading a scared looking mason and Suzy holding a somehow still sleeping Devon. Dan held his arms out to mason, who ran and jumped into Dan's lap. He hugged Mason tight before turning to face Arin. Arin flexed his left paw in a weak attempt to reach out to his son. Mason climbed off Dan's lap and onto the bed, snuggling underneath Arin's leg and against his chest. Dan smiled at the two of them. Suzy laid Devon in the bed next to Mason, who grabbed his little brother's hand. Suzy leaned down to kiss Arin's head, and whispered something comforting to him. She hugged Dan and stepped away from the bed, allowing Holly and Barry to pass along kind words to the little family.

They left, the doctor leaving as well. Dan wondered briefly what the rules were for visitors but Arin was stirring again, bringing dan out of his thoughts. Dan hushed him, reminding him not to try to move. Arin let out a whine, and pawed at Dan with his good paw the best he could. Dan realized Arin was wanting to be held, and after the night they had, who was Dan to deny him? Dan stood and went around the other side of the bed. He climbed up and laid with his chest to Arin's back. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, avoiding any injuries or wires. 

With his arms around Arin, dan felt the exhaustion of the day sink in. But when he closed his eyes, the only thing he could see was Arin laying in the middle of the road, rain and blood soaking his pelt. Dans eyes snapped open. He lay wide awake while his little family slept next to him, waiting for what Morning would bring. 

\---

When Mason and Devon finally stirred in the early morning light filtering from the window, dan felt far more exhausted than he had the night before. He hadn't slept at all, the images burned into his mind keeping him awake all night. He got off the bed and stretched, his joints popping as he did so. Mason was sitting up in the hospital bed rubbing his eyes. "Good morning Abba." Mason mumbled sleepily. Devon yawned next to mason. Dan walked back around the bed and pulled the boys off one at a time. Arin opened his eyes and wagged his tail at Dan. His eyes were brighter than they had been the night before. Dan leaned down and kissed Arin's head and whispered his good morning. 

A nurse pushed her way into the room. She stopped and smiled at the family. "I'm sorry if we broke any rules by staying here last night." Dan apologized. The nurse waved him off. 

"No need to apologize!" She cheered. "Werewolves heal faster when they're surrounded by their pack, so it's actually encouraged for loved ones to stay overnight. I'm nurse Julie, I'm going to change his bandages and show you how to do it so when you guys go home in a few days you can do it. You might not want the kids to see this though." She gestured towards the kids sitting on Dan's lap. He nodded and sent a text to Suzy. Suzy was in the room moments later, having gotten to the hospital early that morning. Dan thanked her quietly as she scooped Devon into her arms and took Mason's hand. Dan was so thankful for her unending patience and willingness to watch his kids. They were going to need a lot of help while Arin recovered. 

With the kids gone the nurse started showing dan how to undo Arin's bandages and clean out all the injuries. Arin howled in pain while she did so and dan felt his heart shatter. He sang to Arin, and scratched his head in an effort to keep him calm. When that was finished, she pulled the oxygen mask off Arin. "How old are your kids?" Nurse Julie asked, as she checked the various wires connected to Arin. 

"8 and 6." Dan answered, smiling a little. "I wish you could talk to me Arin. I can't wait until you can shift back." Dan murmured to the wolf next to him. Arin looked exhausted from the process of changing his bandages. 

"You know he's very lucky." Nurse Julie said gently. Dan looked up at her. "If the car had hit him differently, or if he was any smaller, it would have been a lot worse." She offered a small smile before slipping back out the door. Dan stared at the place she had been, her words echoing in his head. If he had been any... Devon. An image flashed in Dan's head, one where it had been Devon struck down, dead before any of them even knew. Panic seized his chest, Arin whined next to him, sensing his fear. 

"You saved Devon. Holy shit Arin. He was almost.... our son could have been killed." Dan said, voice barely above a whisper. He collapsed the top half of his body onto the bed, his head on Arin's neck. He clung to the fur below his fingers and sobbed. Arin nuzzled against Dan's neck. Dan straightened back up and forcefully wiped at his eyes. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I just realized that we almost lost Devon." Dan apologized. Arin flicked his ears, telling dan he didn't need to apologize. 

At some point Suzy returned with the boys. Dan let them spend time with Arin before taking them out and letting Suzy have some time alone with her best friend. Dan took the boys down to the cafeteria, and they each got pancakes. Devon wasn't eating anything, just pushing his food around. Dan touched his shoulder. "Hey bud, what's going on? Not hungry?" Dan asked. Devon shook his head, looking pointedly down at his food. Dan smoothed the pale blonde hair on his head. Finally Devon looked up, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears. Dans heart cracked. 

"Does Dad hate me?" Devon cried out. Dan pulled Devon's chair closer to him and pulled the small child into a hug. 

"Sweetie, why would you ask that? Of course he doesn't." Dan assured his son, kissing the top of his head. Devon pushed Dan away. 

"This is all my fault!" Devon cried, burying his face in his hands. "Dad was saving me! If I had looked, if I had paid attention Dad never would have been hit!" Dan pulled his son tight against him again. 

"Devon sweetheart. This isn't your fault. The person driving should have been paying more attention. You're a child, you're allowed to mess up sometimes. It's not your fault." Dan rubbed Devon's back, comforting him until the sobs died down. 

By the time they made their way back to Arin's room, Arin had shifted back to his human form. Dan heard his laugh from the hallway and quickened his steps until he reached the door. There, sitting up in bed, was the man Dan had fallen in love with. His usual smile was plastered on his face, although it was weaker than normal. Suzy was shaking her head at whatever Arin had found so funny. He looked up when Dan walked in. 

"Dan! Boys!" Arin cheered. Dan let go of the boys' hands and the two children ran up to their father. Suzy helped them climb onto the bed and Arin wrapped his arms around them both. He held them tight for a long moment. Dan reached the bed and leaned down to kiss Arin hard. "Hi danny." Arin whispered only for him. Dan felt tears well up once more at the sound of his boyfriends voice, a voice that always comforted him and a voice he had been so afraid he'd never hear again. 

"How are you feeling baby?" Dan asked, running his fingers through Arin's hair. Arin shrugged with his left shoulder. His right arm was in a cast, in a sling. Dan kissed his forehead. 

"I was going to say I feel like I've been hit by a car but-" Arin gestured to himself. Dan laughed dryly. Only Arin would make jokes at a time like this. "Hey, the nurse said they're going to move me into a private room." Arin wiggled his eyebrows and laughed, but his laugh was cut short by a wince and a groan. "Oh laughing hurts." Arin said through gritted teeth. He reached out to his IV drip and pushed the button that gave him more morphine. 

"None of that, eyebrows. You need to heal." Dan kissed Arin's forehead again. Arin was here, laughing and making stupid jokes. That was the only thing Dan needed to get through the day. Arin, his ability to make Dan laugh no matter what. Dan laced his hand with Arin's, focusing on the heart beat he felt just under the skin. It was stronger now, the heartbeat he knew as Arin's anywhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin begins his recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the angst train, choo choo!

Later in the day, Arin was settled into his new, private room. Dan had had Suzy go home and pick up their tablet so they could watch movies while Arin was still stuck in the hospital. Suzy had also taken Devon and mason home with her, the hospital was no place for two kids to spend all their time. 

"How's Devon doing?" Arin asked once they were alone. He was propped up in bed, needing to sleep elevated until his punctured lung healed. 

"Devon is alright. He's about as ok as a child can be after watching their father get hit by a car." Dan shrugged, scrolling through Netflix to find something dumb. They both needed a laugh. 

"Yeah but physically. I didn't hurt him when I scruffed him or threw him?" Arin was picking worriedly at the bed. His voice was still soft, unable to take full breaths. He had a nasal cannula on now that he was in human form. Dan reached out and covered Arin's hand with his own, stilling his anxious fingers. 

"He's fine Arin. You did what you had to do. You saved him." Dan smiled at his boyfriend and Arin smiled weakly back. "Are you tired?" Dan asked, setting the tablet off to the side. Arin nodded. He tried to shift sideways but his efforts were interrupted as pain shot from his chest and spread through his body. "Are you ok?" Dan asked, watching the pain slowly leave his boyfriends face. 

"Fine. Hurts to move is all." Arin answered, his words stilted. "Come snuggle with me." He finally managed. Dan laughed a little. Retrieving the tablet from where it had been discarded, he climbed onto the bed. He tucked one leg under him and dangled the other off the edge of the bed. He selected some b-list horror movie and held the tablet out in front of Arin. Dan wrapped his free hand around Arin's shoulders and pulled him close. 

It wasn't even five minutes into the movie when Arin started snoring softly, his head leaning against dan, hair falling in his face. Dan squeezed him and kissed his forehead. 

Dan must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing he knew he was surrounded by darkness. But something was... different. 

He was standing on a road. Rain splattered against the sidewalk around him but Dan couldn't feel it. Then he heard it, a sound he would never forget. The sound of Arin being hit by the car. He whirled around. There was Arin laying in the street once more, but it was worse this time. Dan rushed to his boyfriends side, but when he arrived the image before him had shifted. Instead it was Devon, lying on the pavement, blood dying his blonde fur crimson. Dan tried to yell, but no sound came out. Distantly he heard his name being called. But dan couldn't tear himself away from his son. There was the voice again, louder this time. And again. 

Dan jerked awake, accidentally dislodging Arin in the process. Arin groaned as he fell sideways a bit. Dan slid off the bed, already apologizing and helping Arin sit back upright against the pillows. 

"It's ok. I was trying to wake you up. What were you dreaming about? You were crying." Arin was looking at him with concerned eyes. Dan reached up to feel his face, and sure enough he felt tear tracks. 

"I had a nightmare. I saw you, lying in the street but then it was Devon and he was...." Dan couldn't even bare to finish the sentence. He swallowed hard. Arin gave him a sympathetic look and with his good arm, he patted the bed for Dan to come back. Dan obeyed, snuggling up to his boyfriend once more. But sleep was gone for Dan, having been chased away by the terror he felt. 

A few hours later, Nurse Julie came into the room, humming to herself. Dan carefully got off the bed, trying not to jostle Arin any more than he had the night before. "He should be released in just a couple of days." Julie offered in a gentle voice. 

"Good. I can't wait to get back to our own bed. What is the recovery process going to look like?" Dan wiped his hands on his jeans. He was going to need to go get a change of clothes for the next couple of days. 

"It should be pretty easy. Lots of bed rest for the first couple of weeks, he's not going to be able to do much on his own until those ribs heal. You'll want to change his bandages and clean the incisions like I showed you every day. He'll be sent home with two weeks worth of pain medications and antibiotics." Julie went on to explain how to check for infections and that if Arin was still experiencing pain they could get more medication. Dan listened intently, trying to commit everything she said to memory. Next to him, Arin started to wake up. 

"Danny-boy is going to have to wipe my ass." Arin mumbled drowsily, eyes still closed and that goofy grin plastered to his face. Dan groaned. 

"Arin you can't just say shit like that." Dan turned to apologize to Julie but she was laughing so hard she had to lean on the bed for support. Arin flicked his eyebrows up in triumph. 

"Glad to see the accident hasn't effected your sense of humor." Julie finally said. Dan rolled his eyes. 

"I have yet to find anything that will stop him from making bad jokes." Julie laughed again at that. 

Ross stopped by later in the day, and Dan found himself wandering the halls of the hospital. He had opted to take a walk, give Arin and Ross some time to talk and giving himself some time to clear his head. Dan was staring out a window, watching the people walking around the courtyard. There was a fountain in the center of a garden. Benches were scattered around, patients lounging on them, chatting with family members. 

Not for the first time since that fateful day in New York, Dan found himself longing to be able to feel the sun on his skin without worrying about his health. Dan jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. He whipped his head over to see Barry. "Jesus bar, give a guy a heart attack why don't you." Dan jested. Barry smirked at him. 

"Pretty sure you have to have a beating heart to have a heart attack." Barry quipped. Dan's shoulders slumped a little and he put his hand to his heart. Not for the first time he found himself missing the feeling of his heart under his ribs. "Oh hey I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rub that in." Barry looked truly upset. Dan offered a small smile. 

"It's ok. Everything is just... too much right now." Dan sighed. Barry pat his shoulder. 

"Arin's going to be just fine. You heard the doctors." Barry tried. Dan nodded, he knew that. But it was more than just Arin. 

"Yeah, I know he will be. But I just... I worry. He could have died. And what happens if he does? First there was the bear trap, and now this? Is he just going to keep getting injured until he dies? I can't live without Arin. I can't spend the rest of eternity without him." Dan turned to Barry, and his defenses melted. He felt tears well up and he collapsed foreword onto Barry's shoulder. Barry rubbed his back and comforted him. After a long while Dan finally calmed down and stepped away from the older vampire. "Shit. I'm sorry Barry." Dan muttered, wiping his eyes. Barry just shrugged. 

"That's what I'm here for. You can always talk to me, or just cry. Whatever you need Danny." Dan thanked him, and Barry walked with Dan to Arin's room. Barry retrieved his husband, leading Ross by the hand out the door, waving goodbye as they went. 

When Dan returned to Arin's side, he saw how exhausted he looked. The pain medication in his IV was keeping him drowsy, but at least it was keeping the pain away. Dan kissed Arin's forehead and noticed the bags under Arin's eyes. Was Arin not sleeping well? Dan furrowed his brows, guilt beginning to creep in. He should know these things. Dan promised himself he would try harder in the future. Arin needed him to pay attention. Something occurred to Dan. He realized if he had been paying attention before Arin was hit, he could have been fast enough to save Devon and get out of the way of the car. He could have done something but he froze. Dan felt like he had failed his family, these people he's sworn to protect. 

Dan shook himself. He realized Arin had fallen asleep as soon as Ross and Barry had left. He sat in the chair, not wanting to risk waking Arin up again if he had another nightmare. He would handle it alone. 

\---

A few days later, Arin was finally being released from the hospital. Dan was pushing him in a wheel chair, per hospital policy, as they walked outside to wait for Suzy. Suzy had offered to pick them up so dan could sit in the back with Arin. Arin was more energetic than he had been since the accident, excited to be back in the fresh air and out of the stifling hospital. Dan had brought him a pair of sweatpants and a pink hoodie to wear out of the hospital. Stuff that was soft, and loose fitting. Dan's messenger bag was giving a rattle with every step, giving away its contents of a bottle of pain killers and a bottle of antibiotics. Dan sat on one of the benches out front and set his bag next to him. "How are you feeling?" He asked, taking one of Arin's hands into his own. 

"Same as I was ten minutes ago Danny. I'm fine, just ready to go home. I want to see my kids and sleep in my own bed." Arin kissed the back of Dan's hand. 

"They're so excited to see you. Suzy is going to be by during the days to help watch the boys." Dan was going to have to buy Suzy some flowers after everything she has done for them. 

Speaking of, Suzy pulled up to the curb and jumped out of the car. She came around and opened the rear door. Dan helped Arin to his feet, the younger man leaning heavily on Dan. "It's a good thing you have that super strength." Arin's joking tone fell flat as he grimaced in pain. Dan apologized but Arin just shook his head. Dan managed to help Arin into the car, he buckled him in and shut the door before going around to the other side and climbing in the back seat from there. Dan buckled himself in in the middle so Arin could lean on him. Suzy drove as carefully as she could home, trying not to jostle Arin too much. His ribs were on the mend but they were still sore, and his chest was still covered in dark purple bruises and a long incision over his lung. 

Dan waved to Suzy from their front porch, Arin half asleep against him. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, before half dragging Arin inside. He shut the door behind them and brought Arin over to the couch. After setting Arin down gently, Dan pulled his boyfriends shoes off, kicked off his own and set both pairs by the door. He draped a blanket across Arin's lap and kissed his forehead. Arin was already asleep. 

Dan took the opportunity to start dinner for the two of them. He figured he would make Jewish comfort food. Something warm. 

Dan was stirring the food when he realized he was forgetting an ingredient. A hand came in front of him holding what he was missing. Dan jumped away from the hand and snapped his head up to face its owner. Brian. Of course. "Dammit Brian! You can't just teleport into my house whenever you want." Dan yanked the ingredient Brian was holding and added it to dinner. Brian just laughed. 

"Actually I-"

"Don't say it's in the contract Brian. I've read that a thousand times. Nowhere does it say you're allowed to teleport into my house." Dan cut him off. Brian shrugged. "This is just you being an asshole." 

"I just wanted to stop by and check on you. Can't I just want to check on a friend?" Brian grinned at Dan. 

"I'm fine Brian. Just trying to make dinner for my boyfriend." Dan glared at the demon standing in his kitchen. Becoming a vampire hadn't been the hidden clause of the contract. Spending eternity with Brian bothering him was. 

"Hey getting to spend eternity with me is a blessing." Brian jabbed at Dan with one finger. 

"Stop reading my mind. Go home Brian." Dan plated the dinner he had made and set the plates on the table. Brian shrugged and finally popped back out of the house. Dan ran one hand over his face. He got two glasses of water, and set two pills next to Arin's glass. 

\---

Dan cleared away their plates from dinner as Arin sat at the kitchen table fiddling with his phone. "So what are we recording tomorrow?" Arin asked, not looking up. Dan shot him a confused look. 

"Dude we're not recording tomorrow." Arin looked up at that, one eyebrow raised. "You're on bed rest for two weeks. We are not recording. You need to rest and heal." Dan continued. Arin grimaced at that. 

"I'm fine. We need to work. Don't need the channel suffering just so I can lounge around." Arin gestured in the air with his good hand. Dan just shook his head. 

"Forget the channel. I need you healthy and happy. Ross and Barry will record some stuff if we run out of back log. Please just rest Arin. For me?" Dan stepped forward and grabbed one of Arin's hands. Arin sighed and nodded. Dan helped him upstairs and into bed, before Dan changed into his pajamas and joined him. Finally they were able to sleep in their own bed, comfortable in each other's arms. 

\---

Arin was sitting up in bed on his phone 3 days into his two weeks of bed rest. He was getting restless. He couldn't draw with the cast on his right arm, and he'd watched almost everything he wanted to on Netflix. He got a text from Brent, asking if he had received an email. Arin responded that he would check. Arin set his phone down and looked over at his desk. He could make that, it wasn't very far. Carefully, Arin stood up, his ribs screaming in protest at the strain. He was determined to do this on his own though, and he pushed foreword. He made his way over to the desk in slow careful steps. He pulled the chair out, but when he moved to sit down, the chair rolled farther away and he fell, hitting his left shoulder on the ground. Arin groaned, frozen in pain on the ground. He felt like his ribs had broken all over again, the pain gripping his chest tight. He heard footsteps hurrying down the hall and realized Dan had heard him. Arin hoped he wouldn't come in, wouldn't find him like this. He just wanted to do something on his own, to stop being so helpless. He needed to work, needed to keep the channel going. He was the alpha, he needs to protect this pack he had built. He couldn't do that just sitting around. 

The shame mingled with the pain overtaking Arin as Dan pushed his way into the room. "Arin oh my god!" Dan exclaimed, rushing to Arin's side. He took Arin's left arm and draped it across his shoulder. He slid one hand under Arin's back and one hand under Arin's knees and lifted him bridal style. He sat Arin up in the bed as gingerly as he possibly could. Arin still hissed in pain a bit. 

"Thanks." Arin said, not looking at Dan. 

"What happened?" Dan asked, running his fingers through Arin's hair. Arin moved his head away. 

"Brent needed me to look at an email. I just needed to do something for myself." Arin shrugged. He flinched, his shoulder sore from hitting the ground. Dan was at his side again, checking over his shoulder. Arin jerked away from him despite how much that movement hurt. "Back off. I don't need to be babied! I just need to work!" Arin snapped. The pain was making him grumpy and he was feeling so ashamed that he couldn't even sit in a chair by himself. He just needed dan out of the room, his heart couldn't take looking at the concern etched on Dan's face. 

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to help!" Dan snapped back, arms folded across his chest. 

"You want to help? You can help by getting out! I need space! I don't need you hovering all the time!" Arin was on a roll, his anger and frustration with himself spilling over. Dan look wounded. Guilt flickered briefly in Arin's chest but Dan turned and left before Arin could truly register it. 

Dan stormed out of the house, tears stinging his eyes. Without even thinking he went across the street and knocked on the door of the witches' house. Suzy opened the door, surprised to see Dan. When she saw the tears in his eyes; she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his middle. He held tight to her and tried to fight back the sobs. "Danny what happened?" Suzy asked, rubbing circles in his back. He told her about having found Arin on the floor, and Arin yelling at him. 

"I know he's in pain and frustrated from not being able to do things on his own but it still hurts to hear." Dan finished. He stepped back and wiped his eyes. 

"Why don't you come inside and go see Holly? I think she's in the backyard with the kids. I'm going to go see Arin." Dan tried to stop Suzy but she was already past him and down the path towards the street. Dan sighed and set off to find Holly. 

Suzy pushed her way inside the house. "Dan?" She heard Arin call from their room. He sounded mad. Suzy went upstairs towards their bedroom and stepped inside. 

"No, Dan is over at my house crying his eyes out. What is the matter with you Arin?" Suzy stood with her hands on her hips. Arin looked pointedly out the window, his hands balled into fists. 

"I'm frustrated. I feel like I'm letting everyone down when I don't work. I hate seeing Dan look so scared all the time. I just want to be able to work and do stuff for myself." Arin muttered at last. Suzy scoffed. 

"That is no excuse to treat your boyfriend that way. That man loves you. You should have seen him. He waited all night for you to get out of surgery. He didn't sleep, not even for five minutes. He waited for you. He has done everything to take care of you and that's how you repay him?" Suzy demanded, stepping closer to Arin. With a heavy heart, Arin realized she was completely right. He had been an ass to Dan. Suzy must have seen the guilt on his face because she softened. She sat on the edge of the bed and took one of Arin's hands in her own. "The channel will live Arin. In two weeks you can slowly come back. You aren't failing us by resting. You need to heal. Your family needs you. I know it's hard but you have to be patient. Go easy on yourself." With her piece said, Suzy kissed Arin's forehead and headed back to her own house to tell Dan to head home. 

 

Dan tentatively pushed his way into the bedroom he shared with Arin. His heart cracked when he realized Arin was crying. Arin held his arms out to Dan when he saw him come in. Dan visibly relaxed and climbed onto the bed, pulling Arin into his arms. They both apologized, Arin insisting it was all him. Dan called him an asshole and Arin couldn't disagree. 

That night, mason and Devon slept in between their dads, and for the first time since the accident, Dan slept all the way through the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny tries to self medicate in order to get through Arin's accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are rough in this one for our poor boys. Have fun!
> 
> Just a warning, lots of weed reference in this one.

The first week of Arin's recovery passed smoothly. They got into a routine of Dan helping Arin shower every day and cleaning his incision afterwards. Dan always sang to Arin while he worked, in an effort to keep the werewolf calm and distract him from the pain. The bruises were finally fading and moving around was getting easier for Arin. 

Dan, however, was doing a lot worse. Instead of dealing with the trauma of the accident, Dan lost himself in work and taking care of Arin. He was barely sleeping, nightmares plaguing his mind all night. Always the same thing, either Arin or Devon laying on that street, lost to Dan forever. Dan tried sleeping pills of all kinds, even a potion or two from holly and Suzy, but nothing stopped the nightmares. Dan had taken to sneaking out of bed when Arin was asleep to sleep on the couch, and sneaking back in before Arin woke up. He feared his constant tossing and turning would keep Arin awake as well. 

Dan's lack of sleep was starting to wear on him. He found himself exhausted all the time, drinking more and more coffee in his fight to stay awake. He was sitting with Brian writing lyrics when he felt himself drift off. He had just closed his eyes for a moment but when he opened them again Brian was on the couch scrolling through his phone, instead of sitting at the table with dan. Dan rubbed the sleep from his eyes as Brian shot him a look. 

"Have a good nap Danny?" Brian asked, sarcasm heavy in his voice. Dan rolled his eyes. 

"I'm sorry. I can't sleep. Nightmares keep me awake all night." Dan yawned loudly. Brian may have entered his life as the demon who owns his soul, but by now he was one of Dan's most trusted friends. 

"Have you tried therapy?" Brian asked. Dan shook his head. 

"Arin needs me at home and I don't want him to feel guilty. I can't tell him about this." Brian shot dan a look that told him he was in idiot, but Dan ignored it. Arin had enough on his plate without Dan complaining about his problems. 

 

"Have you tried smoking weed?" Brian asked, as if it were the most casual thing in the world. 

"What? Brian, you know I quit smoking. You were there." Dan huffed. Brian had been the one to encourage him to quit. Why would he be suggesting that now? 

"I'm just saying, it always helped you sleep before. You're older now, you have more self control. You need to sleep." Brian picked up his pen and starting taking notes about lyrics again, abruptly ending the conversation. Dan tried to focus on the sheets of paper in front of him, but all he could think about was Brian's suggestion. He was older now, maybe he could use it just for sleep. 

When Dan went home that night, Arin was already asleep. Suzy had been here while dan worked, helping Arin with anything he needed. Dan went to the kitchen for a cup of tea before bed. He pulled out his favorite mug, but inside was a plastic bag. He pulled it out. It was a bag of weed, complete with a pipe and a note that read  
"Just try it.  
-Brian"

Dan sighed and tucked the bag into his pants pocket. He decided against tea, and placed the mug back in the cupboard with a hollow thump. The exhausted vampire wandered out onto the balcony. He looked at the house looming behind him, checking for any bedroom lights on. All was quiet. Dan begrudgingly pulled the bag out of his pocket once more. He stared it in his hands, beckoning him. He thought about how tired he was, how he'd been forgetting things and Brian was right, he needed to sleep. And he could handle himself. 

After justifying it to no one but himself, Dan smoked for the first time in years. 

He fell asleep on the couch that night, wrapped in a haze that held him in familiar hands. For the first time in a week he didn't have an impending sense of dread. He felt the anxiety lift away from him. He slept through the night for the first time since the accident, no nightmares to be found. 

When dan woke up, he felt refreshed. He was up before his alarm; which he hadn't been able to do since the accident. Dan got up and returned his blanket to the hall closet before heading upstairs to wake Arin and ask what he wanted for breakfast. 

 

Later that day, the happiness had worn off, and dan was feeling worried all over again. His mind drifted the bag tucked away in a drawer. He was more use to Arin when he was relaxed, or at least that's what he told himself as he snuck off with an excuse to retrieve the bag and let his worries go once more. 

Dan smoked more and more over the next couple days, constantly chasing freedom from the anxiety that gripped him. Arin was healing, like everyone said he would. Dan was just trying to get through, and everything would be ok when Arin finally healed completely. 

 

"Forget the words?" Arin asked through gritted teeth above him, breaking through Dan's thoughts. Oh that's right. He was knelt on the bathroom floor, Arin sat on the toilet so Dan could change his bandages. He had been singing a song, but what it had been escaped him. Like the birds flying from the trees, escaping the toil of earth living. 

Focus danny. Dan shook himself again. Was he undoing or redoing the bandage? Dan couldn't remember, his mind a complete blank for the last ten minutes. He had been moving on autopilot, having done this every day. But now he was stuck, unable to recall where he was in the process. With a shrug he figured he was probably almost done, and finished wrapping the bandage before kissing Arin and announcing him done. "That was fast, you're getting better at it." Arin played it off lightly, like they both weren't waiting for the day dan no longer needed to change bandages. Dan froze a little. Was is fast? Was it too fast? Dan snuck out to the backyard once again to chase away the little thorn of worry that found its way in his chest.

 

When dan woke up the next morning, something was immediately wrong. He could feel Arin in the bed next to him, but Arin was running even hotter than normal. He sat up and looked at Arin. His face was red, his hair plastered to it with sweat. Dan shook Arin, in a desperate attempt to wake him up. Arin groaned, and mumbled something incoherent. "Arin get up!" Dan yelled. Fever was the first sign of infection. Arin opened his eyes, but they were unfocused, staring at a point somewhere above dan. He muttered something about not wanting to go to school, before his eyes slid shut again and his head dropped to the side. Dan sprang into action. He called for an ambulance and called Suzy to  
come stay with the boys. He lifted Arin off the bed and carried him downstairs, the werewolf dressed only in his boxers. 

 

Two hours later, dan found himself in the same waiting room, on the same uncomfortable chairs with the same ugly pattern that burned itself into Dan's vision. This time he was alone, tapping his foot incessantly on the tile floor. He needed answers, he needed his boyfriend. Finally, the same Nurse as before pushed through the doors that sheltered the waiting room from the rest of the hospital. Dan stood up and met her halfway, his hands shaking. He balled them into fists and shoved them into his pockets, waiting for what she had to say. He was sure this was it, Arin didn't make it this time. How many times could they walk into this hospital before they no longer walked back out? 

"Mr. Avidan?" Nurse Julie asked gently, head tilted to one side. Dan snapped his head up. 

"I'm sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. How is he?" Dan swallowed hard, waiting for her to tell him Arin was gone. 

"He developed an infection. His fever finally broke, and they were able to drain the infection. It looks like his incision was the start of the infection. Did you miss a day cleaning? These infections can spread fast." Julie was still talking, but dan had stopped listening when she mentioned Arin's incision. With a stab of guilt to the chest, dan realized he had not changed Arin's bandages the day before, he had caused this infection. He put his boyfriend back into the hospital. Distantly dan heard Nurse Julie ask if he wanted to see Arin. He nodded, though everything in him was screaming at him to turn and run. This was his fault, and he didn't deserve to see Arin ever again. 

Arin was awake when dan came into the room. He was sitting up once again, a drainage tube disappearing under the bandages across his chest. They had to reopen him up to get all the infection out, Julie explained. Arin was smiling at him, and Dan felt his heart clench. He didn't deserve that smile. When Julie left, dan turned to look at Arin. 

"Did she tell you what happened? She said it started at my incision but you've been cleaning it so I don't know how it could have happened." Arin said after a long moment. He looked exhausted from the effort of speaking. Dan swallowed hard. Here it was. Arin would learn the truth of what dan had done and walk away. 

"Well... I'm not sure. I'm not a doctor." Dan couldn't tell Arin the truth. Not like this. Arin shrugged and dan was left with his guilt, boiling away in his stomach like bad food. He debated never telling Arin the truth, letting this incident slide under the rug. But Dan knew better, he knew it only took one lie waiting under the surface to spoil a relationship. Dan had been raised to be honest and true, and Arin was no exception. How Dan was going to do it, how he was going to tell Arin he had been so careless and let him get an infection, Dan had no idea. But eventually he was going to have to. 

 

Julie came back in later, trailed by Ross and Barry. Ross wanted to check on Arin and Barry suggested he and dan take a walk. Arin looked exhausted, but happy to see his old friends. Ross had his drawing tablet, and sat down to show Arin a few new frames of animation as Barry and Dan took their leave. 

"You know, I can see your guys' back porch from ours." Barry began when he and dan were away from the room and wandering the halls of the hospital once again. Dan stopped in his tracks. "Yeah I saw you. What happened Dan? I thought you quit." Dan sighed. Barry was looking at him with soft, non judging eyes, patiently waiting for his explanation. For a few heartbeats dan considered lying, but he knew it wouldn't work. Not with Barry. The older vampire had taken him under his wing, acting as an older brother who taught Dan how to be a vampire since Brian had left out many important details. 

"I couldn't sleep Barry. I was having nightmares every night. Nothing helped. I thought I could handle myself. But I was still so anxious during the day, seeing Arin in pain was so hard. I started smoking during the day to keep myself from spiraling into depression. I had to be strong for Arin. But I messed up. I was high when I changed his bandages... only I didn't change them right. And now he's sick again and it's all my fault." Dan hung his head in shame, waiting for Barry to yell and tell him how stupid and selfish he was. But Barry didn't yell. He put one hand on Dan's shoulder, prompting the young vampire to look at him. 

"It's not your fault. You did what you felt you had to do to cope. But now you know that's not a good option. You need therapy, you and I both know that's the only way to handle something like this." Dan looked Barry in the eye, and saw years of pain locked away. Barry knew what he was talking about, dan knew the things Barry had seen in his century of existence, all the people he had lost along the way. Dan hugged barry tight, forever thankful to have him as a friend. 

 

Later that night dan thought over his conversation with Barry. He had to tell Arin the truth. "Arin? You know how much I love you, don't you?" Arin turned to Dan confused. They had just been discussing what game to play next, anything to distract Arin from being stuck in the hospital again. Dan began from the beginning, not sleeping and Brian's suggestion. "I'm sorry Arin, I'm so sorry. I was an idiot. I just didn't know how to handle what I was feeling." Dan pleaded with Arin, tears welling up. He forced them back, unwilling to look like he was looking for forgiveness. He knew he didn't deserve that, not after he had been so careless. 

"I was wondering why you never slept in bed with me." Arin said at last, eyes full of concern. 

"I just wanted you to worry about getting better. I thought I could handle it alone." Dan answered, voice quiet. Arin kissed him, much to Dan's surprise. 

"You really are an idiot. I love you. We're supposed to be here for each other. No matter what." Arin smiled softly at dan, love shining in his eyes. Dan let himself cry, collapsed against the bed. He felt awful for letting this happen to Arin, a man he was supposed to take care of. Dan swore he would spend every day proving to Arin how loved he was, how much dan cared for him. Dan would never make a mistake when caring for Arin again. 

\---

Arin was in the hospital for a week this time, the doctors keeping him for observation. Once again, dan was pushing Arin outside into the warm California sunshine, ready to begin the healing process all over. Dan promised to go to therapy, and Arin promised to be more patient this time around. As dan helped Arin into Suzy's car and got in himself, he reflected on how lucky he was. Dan thought about how close he had come to losing one of the most important people in his life, tied only with his children. In the orange glow of the sunset, dan looked at Arin and felt hope like he had thought long forgotten. Dan looked at his boyfriend, his true love, and saw the strength and determination etched in his face. 

Dan knew he had eternity with Arin, no matter what. They would always have each other, a love to withstand a thousand years.


End file.
